Prompted by the (awful) phrase, I'm arguing that marriage at its best is neither a trap nor some easy certainty. Instead, it's a work of discovery. A sample:
One of the driving forces in the best marriages is not...perfect certainty, but continual discovery: the pleasure of slowly, or in fits and starts, comprehending another psyche.
This discovery is partly because of change: over a life, our characters can be enhanced and enriched - or dampened and depleted - by events. Childbirth and parenting, illness, career, age, and the subtle influences of geography, climate and culture - all these can contribute to our psychological development.
Marriage itself can shape us. So part of the joy (and sometimes horror) of relationships is the continual, surprising recognition of the intricate details of another's self, as they flow and coalesce, bubble and freeze.(Photo: The Sugar Shack)