Thursday, June 6, 2013

Marriage and the 'ball and chain'

I've a column with the Sydney Morning Herald's 'Life and Style' today, 'Marriage: the "ball and chain"'.

Prompted by the (awful) phrase, I'm arguing that marriage at its best is neither a trap nor some easy certainty. Instead, it's a work of discovery. A sample:
One of the driving forces in the best marriages is not...perfect certainty, but continual discovery: the pleasure of slowly, or in fits and starts, comprehending another psyche. 
This discovery is partly because of change: over a life, our characters can be enhanced and enriched - or dampened and depleted - by events. Childbirth and parenting, illness, career, age, and the subtle influences of geography, climate and culture - all these can contribute to our psychological development.   
Marriage itself can shape us. So part of the joy (and sometimes horror) of relationships is the continual, surprising recognition of the intricate details of another's self, as they flow and coalesce, bubble and freeze.
(Photo: The Sugar Shack)

1 comment:

Rolly Christian said...

Life affirming Damo, Well done!

"There is something more to our bond than mutual recognition. This marriage of true minds is also a commitment to something that seems beyond the two of us..."

It's not vague by any means - it is powerful.

It's love. It was noted in your marriage commitment to each other.
If you abide in it you will enjoy life to it's fullest.

To continue in love with forgiveness for each others sins is to mature (ask you wife where you sin and she will tell you). Selfish moves to paint your spouse as "bad" and you as "good" will take you off the path.

Sin us takes off the path and love keeps us on the path of life.

Love is transcendent and is the very nature of God. Understand love and know what God is all about.