I'm now very sexy, you see.
According to one Age reader, my recent words on marriage have increased my 'desirability quotient' to 'extreme'.
How does this work? I'm not sure, but it has something to do with the allure of commitment, passion and integrity. (Some women get off on this, you see.)
So at the end of the day, having changed nappies, swept up, cooked breakfast/lunch/dinners, done the kindergarten run and made a cardboard box rocket, my throbbing libido and I are ready for a night's incandescent passion. And because Ruth's not exhausted, so is she.
OH FIREWORKS. OH OPEN FIRES, TRAINS IN TUNNELS AND ROCKETS BLASTING OFF.
And hours later, we fall into a blissful, harmonious sleep, unbroken by our daughter's screaming, or the sounds of our son fumbling for the toilet door, and knocking over a plastic teapot, five babushka dolls and Lego Mars rover.
Well, that's the fantasy, and I think it's a nice one.
Anyway, ideas of fatherhood, marriage and sex have come together in the Mentally Sexy Dad competition, now running at Reservoir Dad. If I may quote Clint's description of the contest:
Dads are beginning to realise that they have to take some responsibility for maintaining the passion in their relationship.The days of killing a beast and lolling around the campfire are over. Life is more complicated, busier and cluttered.
"As Barbara Pocock, director of the Center for Work and Life at the University of South Australia, said, Australian working women found resentment over housework killed libido.
'If the resentment factor was high, that's when their sex life was not great. The best sex aid a man could use was a vacuum cleaner.' "
This quote inspired the Reservoir Dad team to coin the term Mentally Sexy to attribute to Dads who are the opposite of the men Barbara Pocock was talking about.
A Mentally Sexy Dad is more family orientated, more aware of his partner’s needs and simply a better husband and father.
Dads, this is your chance to have some fun, impress your partner (and your mates!) and win some great prizes. Are you Australia's Most Mentally Sexy Dad? Send your entry to Reservoir Dad and let's find out.
In the interests of fairness, I'll not enter. (My sexiness quotient is extreme, remember.) But I urge all of you to seek out and celebrate your mentally sexy dads.
Blog, twitter and email the competition to friends and relatives, and let's find Australia's second most mentally sexy Dad...